I don’t remember very many nights over the last year, that I haven’t gone to bed, feeling like I wasn’t enough. Every night, with kids tucked in, my mind has raced over the day, recalling when I wasn’t patient, when I didn’t read to them as much as a “good mom” would, when I wasn’t able to spend that one on one time with each of them that I’d love to have scheduled in. I’ve been sure that they love my husband more and that other Moms are definitely more fun. Most nights, I’ve ended the day feeling sure that I’m falling short and that these three children of mine deserve only the best, but that I’m messing it all up.
My entire life I’ve wanted nothing more than to be a Mom. It came with self-made, gigantic expectations! While I spent my entire life day dreaming of the day when I’d be someone’s Mama, I unintentionally set ridiculously high standards for myself.
Those dreams quickly turned to reality when I had 3 babies in 5 years. Most days are spent juggling the needs of 3 little people. Someone needs a snack, another needs a diaper change, someone wants me to help her find her blankie. The hours fly by, helping each person, trying to teach them to help themselves and hopefully each other. Before too long, the day is done and when the house gets quiet, I wonder if I was enough. Did I do my best? Should I have played more? Cleaned less? Been more consistent? More fun?
Mom guilt is one of those things that can break us, without us even seeing it. What I’ve learned is that when we’re constantly reliving all that we’ve done wrong, we’re keeping ourselves from becoming who God wants us to be.
We need to be vulnerable enough to sit down with someone, tell them we struggle in a particular area and ask for encouragement. This might include your child’s doctor, a pastor, your own parent, your husband, a good friend, allmomdoes! Yes, we want to be a sounding board and fill you with hope and encouragement.
We all need truth. It is often so hard to see the truth amidst discouragement, frustration, fear.
What if all of this Mom guilt is a tool holding us back from truly becoming who we were created to be? Don’t allow guilt to TRAP you into being less effective.
Our kids are meant for us and hand-crafted for our families. You CAN do this. Together, let’s make a deal to abolish mom guilt, to go forward with a fresh day, knowing we aren’t perfect, but knowing we are good, that we can do good and that we are loving our children the best way we know how.
Do you struggle with mom guilt?
Angela Strand can be found blogging on allmomdoes on Mondays. To read more of her blogs, click here!