So often I am burdened by the ever looming guilt that I am not doing enough as a mom. I know I am not alone in feeling this way, because almost every mom I have chatted with has shared that she has carried the same burden.
Wrestling with our conscience and our hearts is an endless battle; a conflict we will be confronted with daily. But I am confident that we can have victory in our lives and feel as though we are fulfilling our purpose of being a mom. We can remove the weight of guilt as we shift our perspective as well as our expectations.
My husband and I have encountered many arguments rooted in frustrations from seeing life through the lens of expectations. We both wanted our marriage and our family to be a certain way, to look a certain way…and we were motivated to strive to fulfill our own expectations of what we deemed perfect. However, we soon realized that we were left irritated, disappointed, feeling not good enough, and spiritually dry as we aimed for our wills and neglected God’s will for our lives.
We had to make a conscious effort, an intentional effort, to stop striving and lean on God to guide us. This is a daily battle as our flesh reaches for expectations of perfection and our souls gently remind us to instead fight for purpose! By seeking God’s will and not our own we found true joy that helped us endure many hardships, helped us relish in the meaningful moments with family, and breathe easier. We were able to affirm one another to stand against the anxiety and the stress of carrying burdens that we didn’t need to be carrying. And that is the same freedom I want to extend to you today!
Instead of dwelling on the negative, the unmet expectations of what you see as perfect, and feeling overwhelmed because of where you are lacking or didn’t have time to accomplish… focus on the positive. Congratulate yourself and your husband, celebrating the small victories you do have throughout the day. Also, keep in mind that high expectations may set you up for disappointment if left unmet. This means that you must give yourself grace when you do not feel as though life or parenting is going the way you desire it to and submit to God’s will, yielding to Him daily. Be ok with not accomplishing everything on your to-do list in order to make time for making memories with your husband and your kids. Let go of the idea you have in your mind of what defines perfection and let your life be defined by purpose, God’s purpose!