It’s a strange thing, being an introvert. You long for deep connections yet struggle to reach out to others. You crave solitude but wrestle with your own self-induced loneliness.
Motherhood is a journey that must be walked through in community. It is too trying, too exhausting, too hard to do it alone. The stakes feel too high and we need the company of other mothers to help us carry the burden – and only then will the fog of the everyday lift and we can see the joy and delight of parenthood that’s hidden underneath.
Through relationships with other mothers we can finally begin to accept that we are not alone, we are not failing, and in fact we are doing it well.
But for some mothers, developing those relationships is easier than others. This month we are focusing on Loving Each Other Well. Today I’d like to share some tips on how to love the introverted mom who doesn’t seem like she needs you.
Trust me, she does.
- Ignore your first impressions. Unfortunately, because of their tendency to pull back and not immediately engage with others, many introverts are mistakenly perceived as snobby, stuck-up, or disinterested in relationships. This isn’t necessarily the case.
- Take the initiative. Make the effort to initiate a relationship. While at the beginning it might seem like a less balanced friendship, once it becomes more comfortable it will become more two-sided.
- Extend a specific invitation. When you have a group gathering, sometimes the introverted mom might wonder whether she really belongs. Make a point to invite her specifically. This doesn’t have to be a big deal, just a casual mention will usually do the trick. “Did you see that we’re planning a get-together? Please come! We’d love to have you!”
- Get to really know her. I get it. Some people just don’t click. You don’t have to nurture relationships that aren’t enjoyable for you, but try to get to know the introverted mom until she comes out of her shell and you can see the real her. Then you can decide if you’re destined to become besties or better off as casual acquaintances.
There are many iterations of the introverted mom, and some of these wide-sweeping generalizations may not apply to everyone. But, come to think of it, aren’t they just good relationship-building tips for any mom in your community? Mamas, we need each other – let’s love each other well!
Are you an introverted mom? What’s it like for you? Do you have any more tips on how to love you well?