So, today is Good Friday. Jesus did something monumental for all of us. Mark 9:31 says…”He said to them, ‘The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. They will kill him, and after three days he will rise.”
This moment of death on the cross. This really matters. It is a moment we can hardly wrap our heads around.
But, here’s the problem. I don’t feel very ‘Jesus-y’ today.
Here is how my morning started…
Ellie, our almost 3-year old, woke up grumpily walking into our room screaming, “I need a tissue. I have boogers.” Noah, our almost 5-year old was surprisingly already in our bed, which we noticed when we finally opened our eyes. Ellie continued screaming as she climbed into our bed, “Noah get out of the way.” “Ellie stop kicking me” “My ears hurt. My mouth hurts. I still need a tissue.”
My husband and I are trying to open our eyes and even comprehend the sudden loudness surrounding us. It is much too early.
Somehow we got ready. Somehow we got breakfast and out of the house. Somehow we got them to preschool and daycare.
And then I sat at my desk at work and I thought, ‘How can I even begin to comprehend this day amidst my real life.’
Friends, I struggle with holidays and big, important days like this now that we have kids. I want to pass on the perfect, beautiful memories to them. I want to make sure they know Jesus and that he is first in their minds. I want glitter and sparkles and dyed eggs and egg hunts and perfect moments together. I want everything.
And, so far…
My expectations usually fall flat. It’s been anything but perfect.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this because Easter, you guys. He is risen and it’s amazing and my life is forever changed by My Jesus. But, I’m weary from my kids waking me up grumpily and I’m stressed about the pile of clothes to put away and we didn’t even grocery shop this week due to a crazy week of sickness last week so we’ve been eating random bits of frozen food and leftovers that are sketchy. Mom of the year over here.
How can I even take a moment to comprehend Easter among all this life?
I don’t have the energy to even open my Bible and read the Easter story because I often feel just tapped out. I have nothing left for Jesus.
And, today, it really struck me.
Jesus wants to fill me up. I’m not supposed to fill him up.
He wants to deliver me from perfection and expectation and the I’m not good enough, my traditions fall flat, my kids are too crazy, my motherhood is not what it should be emotions that I have. All gone. My sin of comparison and complaining and trying to do it on my own. Gone.
So, here is the thing, friends. Please hear this, because I think this freedom is so good and wonderful and I think as moms we just need Jesus so much. We give and give and give and we feel like we can’t take. But, you guys, we need to take Jesus. We need to let him fill us up. We cannot pour in to others if we are not being filled ourselves.
So, today, as we ponder the sacrifice Jesus made, I want you to take a Jesus moment. In fact, I want you to take a Jesus moment every day.
You can have a Jesus moment anywhere.
You can have a Jesus moment in the middle of the night while you are nursing your newborn. You can have a Jesus moment while you are sitting in the bathroom (maybe this is your only alone time all day!) You can have a Jesus moment over a cheeseburger at lunch. You can have a Jesus moment if you go to church tonight. You can have a Jesus moment even if the kids are running around the house screaming.
This moment is not about the perfect place or time. It is not about making sure you read the right book or passage of scripture. This moment is about surrender.
Here is what I want you to do.
Sit down. Or stand up. Just be still.
Take a deep breath in and then out.
Close your eyes. (Don’t do this part if you are driving!)
Whisper, “Jesus, I’m yours. Thank you for the cross. I surrender it all to you.”
He’ll do the rest (he already has!)