She was running as fast as she could, trying to escape the impending destruction. Instructed to flee to the hills and not look back, she did her best to follow her husband and keep her eyes ahead, keep moving forward no matter what.
But she couldn’t.
“But Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.”
Genesis 19:26 (MSG)
No one knows for sure why Lot’s wife turned around. What she wanted to see. Was it memories, fear, friendships, curiosity, love for her city? Whatever the reason, at different points in all of our lives, we find ourselves in a similar situation. We are trying to move forward, trying to keep going, but everything within us desires to look back. We want to turn around, to remember, to mourn, to see, to hold onto something that we have been asked to let go of.
We feel like it should be easy. To let go of what was and move freely into the place that God has for us. To leave behind the people we are in hopes of becoming the people we are meant to be.
But the in-between. The place where we aren’t who we were but we aren’t who we are becoming. It can paralyze us with fear, cause our feet to feel like they are stuck in thick mud.
The uncertainty, the transitioning, the transforming – it can be painful and hard and overwhelming. We lay bare before the Potter’s wheel, trying to trust Him while at times feeling like we are sinking.
And the truth is that choosing to move forward isn’t always the hard part. Big leaps of faith, momentous life-altering decisions – they can seem exciting at times, and it’s easy to get caught up in the emotionalism of life and ride that wave for a while. No, the hard part is when you have to choose to keep moving forward day by day when nothing makes sense anymore. When life seems to have only gotten harder and more complicated. Trying not to question whether or not you are being led by God or have gotten off track. Determining to not look back at what you left behind but to let the things of this world grow dim as you fix your gaze on Christ. Making the choice to keep moving, keep hoping, keep trusting, and keep praising, even in the moments of uncertainty and chaos and fear.
But the beautiful part is that with a surrendered heart to the Lord, we don’t have to know all the right things to do or the next steps to take. We don’t have to strive and try and hustle and beat ourselves up every day for feeling human emotions and for struggling.
We just trust Him. Trust Him to order our steps. Trust Him to make the path clear. Trust Him to give us the grace and power we need to do the next right thing until we make it all the way to our destination, knowing full well that no one who puts their trust in Him will be put to shame.
I can’t do it on my own. And you can’t do it on your own. Only in the place of resting in the grace of Jesus Christ can any of us put one foot in front of the other day by day and count it all as loss as we refuse to remove our eyes from Him.
Have you tried to move forward but constantly find yourself looking behind you in regret, guilt, shame, or fear?
Then just rest. Rest in knowing that you serve a God who is for you. Who desires to see you walk in joy and fulfillment and freedom everyday of your life.
This Savior, in His boundless and perfect love, wants to draw near to you, breathe life into the darkest and driest places of your soul, and move you forward by the power of His love.
Keep going. Keep moving. Keep growing. One step at a time. One day at a time. Until you make it all the way home.
His love is more than enough for you.