I saw this sign the other day on Facebook and it made my blood sort of boil and I chuckled a little too, because it just happens to be a huge pet peeve of mine.
The sign said:
I think it kind of makes me cringe because for the longest time in my life I did everything possible to point the finger at everyone else when I was wrong, rather than say “I am wrong, please forgive me.” I wanted to play the blame game or make some sort of excuse as to why I wasn’t totally wrong.
I feel so strongly about this that when my younger children were little, I would make them rehearse this many times when they had wronged another or just plain did something wrong.
You know on the surface it seems sort of harmless, the occasional lack of responsibility, but I can tell you from experience that trying to get away from the shame and guilt of making a mistake can quickly become a habit.
It took me a long time to accept myself as being a human being mistake maker, one that sometimes makes wrong choices or simply makes a mistake in judgement. This stems from perfectionism. I grew up never being good enough…no matter what.
So to compensate I developed a personality that wanted to do things “right” all the time, and although I knew deep down that I wasn’t perfect, I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to know that I made mistakes, wrong choices or even…shhhh the occasional bad day!
It wasn’t until I met the One who totally accepts us, for who we are, mistake maker and all. It took me a while to learn that God’s grace covers every mistake that I will ever make….past, present, future.
I had to learn that Shari was just ok not being perfect and that if I hurt someone, didn’t pay a bill or forgot someone’s birthday that I was not bad or an evil wrongdoer.
I also had to learn that when you’re wrong you’re wrong. I had to learn to take responsibility for my wrongdoing/mistake and ask forgiveness…from God first and then from the person I had hurt.
Asking forgiveness is not easy. It’s humbling, sometimes shameful but oooh so necessary. We see far too many people these days trying to blame others for their own mistakes.
But guess what…
God knows our hearts, motives and actions even before we do. We need to be right before the One who really matters, and being right before God means being right with others.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Do you make excuses for your mistakes? Is there something you need to take responsibility for today?
Teaching our kids to do the same means we need to be the example of humility in our mistakes. They need to know that a loving God forgives them and that it is ok to make mistakes. Let’s also make sure that they take responsibility for their mistakes.
Have a blessed weekend!