My name is Rebecca. I’m a mom. I worry.
There, I said it.
I got it out into the open.
I want my children to be liked. I want my children to be successful. I want my children to thrive. And, I want my children to be liked by everyone! We all want this for our kids I think. I don’t want my children to encounter a bully or become a bully. When my husband was growing up he was the victim of significant bullying. As a result of this we’ve been very intentional on a few things we are teaching our children. Is it foolproof? No, but we hope that it helps our children develop strong relationships and grow in confidence with who they are uniquely created to be.
- Compassion – we want our children to be able to express compassion for others. Our kids are pretty young right now and pretty stuck in the “Me” mindset but we are trying to begin things like building Operation Christmas Child boxes or building homeless care packages and handing those out.
- Empathy – We want our children to be able to understand how others are feeling and to be able to interact about their feelings. Instead of bottling up any feelings I want them to be able to help others and express themselves. We ask them questions like “How does that make you feel” and “How do you think that made <her/him> feel?”
- “Be a good Friend Today” – We say this to our kids when we drop them off at school each day. It simple, but we hope that it reminds them of #1 and #2 so that when they are interacting with their friends they are learning to listen well and love other people well.
- “I Forgive You” – When our kids fight, we make them say the words, “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you.” It might feel forced sometimes, but suddenly, one day, after a fight they will do it themselves and you will know it was all worth it. Training them not to harbor resentment and anger is important.
- Open Conversation – We hope we are creating a home where all conversations are okay. They may be hard, but they are okay. Our home is a safe place and we want our kids to know that they can ask anything.
- Confidence – We want our children to feel confident and excel in their specific gifts. We try to avoid placing our own gifts on them, but rather building up the things we see that they love and do well.
We are not perfect at all this stuff, but we know that fostering children who are good listeners, who love well and who seek to understand and be a good friend to those around them will serve them well. And, I hope if they are a victim of bullying, they are able to get to stand up in confidence, find the root cause and have open conversations with respected teachers or parents so we can all help work together.