Following last week’s blog about ten ways that husbands can tangibly support their wives, I thought I’d chime in on some ways that I think we as wives can support our husbands!
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that our husbands need support from us, especially since we tend to be the ones who are so much more vocal about the support we need! But I promise you, your hubby is longing to have you back him up, even if he doesn’t say it!
So I’ve put together the top ten ways that really speak volumes to my husband, and I’ve seen many of these be of value in other marriages in my life. Of course, we aren’t all the same, so feel free to tweak as you please!
1) Wake up with him when he heads off to work in the morning.
If you are a mom who is home during the day or are leaving later than your husband, try waking up to see him off! Sometimes it can be pretty lonely to wake early in the morning and head off all on your own, and I know that on the rare occasion that I have to be up and moving before my husband, I really want him to wake up with me. So I try my best (I’m not always successful) to at least wake up with him enough to give him a kiss before he heads off to work. And then usually, I go back to sleep!
2) Make his lunch on occasion.
In our home, my husband leaves for work by 6:40AM and I’m home with the kiddos. He’s usually pretty exhausted when he wakes up in the morning and it’s sometimes a struggle to throw a lunch together. So it truly blesses his socks off when he goes to the fridge and finds a lunch ready to go for him! This is not something that I’ve managed to do for him every day (though I know he wishes I would!) but even just making sure that there are things he can take for lunch helps him out a ton! Also, it’s easy to do if you just take the leftovers from dinner and throw some portions in a plastic container!
3) Leave him encouraging notes.
Our men are generally very performance driven, so a short-and-sweet note goes a long way! A sticky note on the mirror, a note in his lunch (see the above suggestion!), or a note left in his phone are all quick and easy ways to give your man some encouragement that will help spur him on for the day. Bonus points if you make it a flirty message!
4) Encourage him to have “guy time”.
Sometimes our husbands get so wrapped up in work and trying to be there for us that they forget the importance of having time with friends. If you notice your hubby has been home a lot and seems in needs of a break, encourage him to find a friend and go do something! If he seems hesitant, keep an eye for men’s ministries or groups through your church or community. Sometimes it’s a bit less intimidating to go to an event with lots of other guys than to try to do something in a smaller setting.
5) Take some interest in something that he enjoys.
From football to food, if there’s something that your husband really enjoys and is something you haven’t quite taken an interest in, take some time to invest! When my husband and I were first married, I decided to make a fantasy football team so that he could teach me all there was to know about football. Since then, it has been something that has connected us and has led to many fun conversations about teams, players, scores, etc. The sky is the limit with this one, and it really doesn’t matter what it is! What matters more is that he sees you taking interest in something that matters to him, showing that you really care. This will speak volumes to him!
6) Try to reduce the through-the-door chaos.
This is a tough one, and one I’m really trying to figure out. It’s also one that you’ll have to ask your husband what matters most to him. But for us, about five months ago, I’d noticed that my hubby seemed overwhelmed when he came through the door when I was flustered and running around trying to get dinner done, with two screaming children at our feet and the house a complete wreck (well… duh). So I thought about it and I asked him what mattered most to him when it comes to coming home. His response? He preferred the kids to not be screaming (well of course) and that there wouldn’t be laundry and dishes cascading over surfaces (hey, me too!). Notice though, he didn’t tell me he wanted laundry DONE or the kitchen PERFECT. He just wanted it to not look like chaos. So all I’ve taken to doing is putting the laundry in our room in a basket instead of in a pile (Mount Washmore) on the living room chair, and trying to have the dishes not… everywhere. Oh, and having the kids not crying? Still working on that one, they aren’t as on board as we are.
7) Listen for the sake of listening, not fixing.
I think we know that in most cases, we are the ones begging for an ear to listen. But truthfully, our husbands need it just as much as we do. They just need it a little differently. Best advice I have? Just make yourself available to listen, and when you’re listening, don’t just be looking for a place to respond and interject advice. Listen to hear his heart, and affirm him in the places where he worries, where he feels insecure, or even the places where he’s joyous or excited. Come alongside him and hear him out, letting him know that you are on his side.
8) Make time for date nights.
This is especially true if you have littles at home. I get it moms, date nights when your kiddos are little are HARD. Like, pulling teeth hard. It takes effort and planning and possibly hooking yourself up to a device so that your child can be nourished. BUT. I promise you, your husband is so worth it and your marriage will thrive because of it. Take the time, even if it’s just an hour to go for a walk or grab a quick dessert, just to be together. It will speak volumes to him if you are willing to take the time and make the effort to spend time with him!
9) Be thankful for him.
And tell him so! Did he take the trash out? Say thank you! Did he take over the parenting duties so you could grab a shower? Say thank you! Did he give you some encouragement on a hard day? Say thank you! When he does something that you really love and appreciate, tell him so! Bonus if you can find a way to brag about him a bit to someone while he’s there too, what a great encouragement to him!
10) Be willing to leave your personality comfort zone.
If you’re anything like us, you and your husband will have some personality differences. In our home, I’m the more serious one and my hubby is the sillier one. One of the ways that I support my husband and love on him is to jump out of my comfortable seriousness and be silly with him! It’s hard (oh my gosh, so hard sometimes!) but it blesses him so much to see me like that and know that I’m being silly for his sake. This can happen with all sorts of personality differences too! The more outgoing wife meets her more introverted husband’s needs by creating a quiet space for them to connect. The more introverted wife steps up and initiates a more outgoing activity for them to do together. There are all kinds of ways you can make this happen!
These are just a few suggestions, but if you’re feeling the need to love and support your husband more, hopefully this will give you somewhere to start!
Do you have any ideas to add? Let us know!