Can I just take a moment to say how disappointed I am?
Tonight, my heart is sad. My heart is heavy. For my friends who are moms, for my family who are moms, for my little sister isn’t even yet a mother.
A little for myself, too.
It starts when I hear moms say things like ‘I could only nurse for a little while,’ with a sad, ashamed look on her face.
Or when a mom tells me, ‘I wish I had more money so that I could choose better foods for my kids.’
All the shame and sadness leads to one toxic thing: the guilt of a mother. And that guilt does one thing: it steals a momma’s joy.
And all around the internet, we wield swords that were never ours to bear, beating those precious mommas down bit by bit until they stand trembling and scared in their own momma skin. Like they are not enough. Like their decisions are wrong. Like they have failed.
Enough is enough.
I want to change the conversation. I want to change how we approach moms. As we say at MOPS, ‘Better moms make a better world’. We aren’t making better moms by beating them down.
What if the next time you saw a mom giving her baby a bottle, you praised her for her hard work and devotion to her little one?
What if instead of giving an eye roll to the mom whose child is tantruming in Target, you offered a helping hand?
What if you dropped off a box of produce to that momma who barely has enough to get by?
I know, I know. These aren’t new suggestions. But goodness ladies, let’s do something about it.
Because the truth is, we all are in the trenches. Whether we are in the beginning stages, nurturing an itty-bitty for the first time, or we are in the process of launching teens one by one from the nest, we are all in this together. Whether birthed, fostered, adopted, or somewhere in between, we are the mommas. We’ve got to put down our swords. Only we can change the conversation.
So here goes:
‘Hey momma, you look beautiful today. Shh, I don’t even want to hear that it’s been three days since you’ve showered. You’re beautiful. Wow, look at those wonderful kiddos of yours. You’re in the midst of it all, momma. And you’re doing amazing. Oh I know it’s hard, it’s hard for me too. Let’s be in this together, okay? I see you.‘
What would it do for your heart to hear that instead?
How much could the world change?
Go on ladies. Change that conversation. Be that light. I see you.