Weight has been a background character in my story since I can remember. It has been a constant companion with me on my parenting journey.
I grew up in a family that was overweight and I know my mother didn’t want the same fate for me. I remember staying at my grandmother’s one week and getting to eat as many Oreos as I wanted. It was paradise until I learned that what you eat directly affects your waistline. I bounced between diets always feeling like my body was never good enough. My friends were always skinnier in high school and getting asked out on dates. I wasn’t. I didn’t know it at the time but it wasn’t that I was overweight, I was just built different. Boy do I wish Kim Kardashian was famous during my high school years. Maybe then my curvy figure would have been appreciated. If I weighed right now what I did when I started thinking I was fat, I’d be thrilled with myself!
Fast forward several years to a marriage and then a baby.
By the time we had decided to have a child, I was already officially plus sized. After years of working multiple jobs simultaneously to help pay the bills, I had found less and less time to exercise. My daughter was born as a surprise c-section. That had not been a part of my original birth plan so I was not prepared for what was to come next. Having just had major surgery, I found it incredibly hard to contort my body for nursing because the pain was pretty intense. Being new to the whole concept, I struggled to feed my baby, which led to long, sleepless nights of continuous screaming. I was drawn to a glory moms group at my local church, which they had just started for brand new moms. Many of the women there were struggling with their postpartum bodies as much as I was. But as a couple of months passed by, those same moms who were originally in the trenches with me were getting back into their normal bodies. I stayed big. It was then that my confidence completely crumbled. I felt like no one could relate. I started Thighs and Lows blog and Facebook group as a way to find a community to walk through these issues with. That’s when I really started to see that there was a need out there beyond just myself.
Since then I’ve looked for every opportunity to share my heart with moms who are going through similar walks of life. I hope that together we can encourage each other in finding contentment in the bodies our sweet little ones have left behind. Motherhood is hard but it is one of the most rewarding gifts in this life. My body is a physical map of the journey I’ve walked so far and I wouldn’t give up a single stretch mark, spider vein or body roll.