When I think of role models, I usually think of amazing people who have traits I wish I had.
Usually, they are people who exude faith, confidence, humor and grace. People who make life look easy (even when it isn’t). People who seem to be everything I’m not.
I’ve had a lot of role models in my life who fit this bill. Some of them have become dear friends and some of them I know I’ll never meet. And, although I strive to be like them, I usually fail.
Lately, I’ve noticed that more and more often I am choosing a different kind of role model: people who have shown me what I don’t want to become.
That sounds negative, but it has turned out to be more successful than holding myself up to impossibly high standards.
These new kinds of role models have taught me so much:
- The negative people in my life have taught me to guard my attitude. Their ability to turn even a bright moment into an excuse to complain has shown me how I don’t want to act.
- Those who are quick to speak and “teach” have shown me how to listen and to wait to see if my advice is wanted before I give it.
- The miserly and stingy people have taught me how to give more freely and to share what I have without regret.
- Controlling people have shown me how to be flexible. It’s easier to loosen my expectations when I see how control looks on others.
- Gossips have taught me to curb my tongue.
- Whiners have taught me to stay quiet about the little things.
- Type A’s have shown me how to relax.
- Angry people have taught me to turn the other cheek.
I never made much headway trying to be seemingly perfect like my former role models but seeing in my new role models traits that I don’t want to emulate has been far more successful.
It’s always easier to see the splinter in another’s eye, isn’t it? But, I am doing a vision check on myself at the same time to make sure that same splinter can’t be seen in me.
And, that has been far more fruitful.
Read more of Ann’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
