Have you ever eaten scrambled pancakes? Because I made some this morning.
A while ago I bought a fancy frying pan and everything seems to stick to the bottom of it. I’ve tried all different kinds of oil and different temperatures, and nothing seems to work. Enough time passes between uses that I’m always surprised when the sticking thing happens yet again.
So, today was another mess of chipping dough off the bottom of the pan with a spatula and trying to get enough pancake up to feed my husband.
We are old enough now that we just laugh at the mess and eat it anyway. The days of trying for perfection are gone and the days of “good enough” are here. The scrambled pancakes were delicious and they fed us nicely. They just looked like a hot mess.
That describes much of my life these days. When I was younger, I tried to achieve some level of perfection in everything I did. My home had to be pristine when people came over. I used to iron my jeans and tee shirts before I wore them and I got up an hour and a half before I left for work so my hair and make-up looked just right.
Now, I can’t remember the last time I took an iron out. My friends and family know my house will be less than perfect when they visit and I brush the tangles out of my hair once in the morning and then never look at it again.
It’s a relaxing thing to let go of perfection but it can be dangerous too. My new motto of “good enough” can grow bigger than it should.
Good enough can lead to trouble. Suddenly the “good enough” house is a mess that is too overwhelming to clean. A “good enough” diet can lead to weight gain and health issues. And most importantly, a “good enough” relationship with God can leave you estranged from the most important relationship in your life.
“Good enough” is a sneaky devil. If you drop your reading of the Bible to once a month, it leaves a hole in your heart. Quick prayers without any thought leave your soul empty. Forgetting what Jesus said about faith and love and forgiveness can cause a miserable life.
Sometimes “good enough” just isn’t “good enough”.
I put the story of Mary and Martha here to confuse things even more:
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
Did Martha need to add a little “good enough” to her earthly thoughts?
I always had issues with this scripture because I could see both sides of the story.
What if Martha too had sat at Jesus’ feet? Would they have had anything to eat later? Would they have had enough rugs to sit on? Would there have been water to wash in and wine to drink?
Of course I understand the message of Jesus’ words, but I also see the earthly dilemma. Where do we draw the line? As moms, we straddle that line every single day. What is worth doing and what can be “good enough”?
Mothers have to focus on earthly things. Diapers have to be changed, children have to be fed, and yes houses have to be cleaned. And often we get so sucked into the things of this world that we put our faith in the backseat.
Perhaps if Martha had sat at Jesus’ feet too her home and hospitality would have been good enough. Maybe she was too invested in the things of this world and that is what Jesus was trying to teach her. Or was he telling her that Mary needed to be at his feet? When we look at Mary and Martha, we see two women who drew the line in very different places.
It can be so hard to draw a “Mary-line” when you’re raising children. I remember when my kids were young. There was a worship song that touched my heart deeply. My sweet husband bought me a tape of the album. I wanted to sit with my eyes closed and let the music and words wash over me. But every single time I found a moment to sit, one of my kids would run in from outside, the phone would ring, someone got hurt, or someone knocked on the door. Every single time. I wanted “God time” but the world kept getting in the way.
That’s why we have to get creative. Some moms get up before everyone else and spend time with the Lord (I could never do that – not a morning person). Some moms stay up late and find the time to read and pray. Some worship when their kids are at school and some intersperse moments all throughout the day.
I have a rule that no matter what, I read at least one page a day in my Bible. It’s amazing how many times I’ve read through the Good Book that way. My niece, who has four young ones, admits that she can barely get through a paragraph a day. For now, that has to be “good enough” for her until her kids are a bit older.
The line between our faith and parenting never seems to be in balance, does it? We always feel like more could and should be done on both sides of the line.
For me, daily Bible reading (even just a page) has to be good enough. A tidy but slightly dusty home is good enough. Praying for someone when I said I would is important and good enough. Dropping everything for my kids and grandkids is surely good enough. Striving always to be who God would have me be is good enough.
And yes, scrambled pancakes are good enough.
Where do you draw the line? And what is “good enough” for you?
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Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
