The other day I caught myself hanging my clothes up inside out. Instead of fixing it, I defiantly kept hanging them wrong-side-out. Take that, clean laundry!
I was so wiped out from illness and life in general, that turning the laundry right-side-out would have sent me right over the edge. I had had all I could take and one thing I could drop was having my clothes hanging neatly. It’s been a week now and I laugh at the craziness in my closet. I’m actually proud of the fact that I recognized my stress level and took appropriate action. I’m prouder than if I had pushed myself to do it “right”.
As a mom, there’s a lot in life that we just can’t drop. Our family will need nourishment in the form of food and nurturing, no matter how mama is feeling. Kids will need to be driven to school, sports, and birthday parties. But our to-do lists are actually full of things that aren’t necessary. We just forget that.
So, I asked my friends what they let go of when stress gets to be too much. Surprisingly, no one mentioned hanging their clothes inside-out, but they had a lot of good answers.
Sleep – Sadly, sleep is one of the first things moms drop during stressful times. I can’t count the number of times I was awake when the rest of the house was asleep. I might have been baking cookies for a school party or sewing on a costume, but whatever it was it seemed important enough to lose sleep over.
Dusting – Rebecca (our fearless leader here at allmomdoes.com) agreed with me about housework. Dusting goes out her window when stress hits. I would add: vacuuming and cleaning toilets (I do not like housework in general and especially when I’m stressed!).
Socializing – This one is so true. Meeting a friend can be such a balm in times of trouble, but it is often the first thing we drop. Who has time or energy to go out for even a coffee?
Hair and Make-up – This is closely related to socializing. I don’t want to meet friends when I look like a hobo, but getting dolled up takes way too much out of me. Thank heaven for messy buns. I can also see why some women choose to get those glued-on eyelashes.
Cooking – This one is easier to drop than it was in our moms’ days. Restaurants and grocery stores deliver and a night of pizza won’t hurt anyone when times are stressful. No one needs a four-course dinner and a crabby, exhausted mother.
Cut Your List – Weird fact: The first things you can take off your list are usually the things you have added yourself. Sure, the kids need to get to games and doctor’s appointments, but do you need to host parties, or wrap gifts in designer paper, or cook from scratch when your life is in turmoil? Take the time to really study your lists and you’ll find a lot of things that can be delegated or cut out completely.
Everything – Finally, more than one mom said they drop “Everything”. Whenever you can, (and it is hard when you have young kids) just stop all movement, even for five minutes. This is the perfect time to pray. And when I’m trying to form the words for prayer during stressful times, I often end up saying, “Father, can I just sit with you for a while?” It’s the perfect prayer for when my brain is on overload.
“You keep him (her) in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he (she) trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
My mom friends were quick to respond when I asked them what they drop during times of stress. What interested me was that none of my guy friends had an answer. They couldn’t relate to the question. I know for my husband, his to-do list is more realistic than mine and if his gets too long he is quick to cut it shorter. He is also better at just saying “no” to commitments than I am. He does not suffer from the guilt I feel when I say no. Instead, he focuses on what he knows he can accomplish. Anything else is not even considered.
We moms need to take a page from the guys. One thing we need to STOP dropping from our lists is our own mental health. This takes a lot of practice, especially when we’re raising young kids. Recently, my daughter had to drop an activity that her kids enjoyed. When they inevitably asked “why” she told them that Mama was tired and just couldn’t do it anymore. They accepted that answer easier than any other excuse she could have made, and they told me later, “We don’t do that anymore, mom was too tired.” Mom got a break AND they were taught an empathy lesson. Win-win.
So, next time life is packed full of things to do and you’re stressed beyond belief, look at your list with new eyes. There just may be a lot of things that you can actually drop.
“From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2
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Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
