Father’s Day isn’t always a simple and fun day to celebrate the dad in your life. It can be incredibly complicated. For couples who are having fertility issues and long to have a child, days like Father’s Day can just be a stinging reminder of the struggles they are experiencing. For families going through divorce, it can add complication and heartache to what maybe used to be a fun family barbeque day.
For myself, as a mom for almost 15 years now and married 17 years; Father’s Day is usually a laid-back day where we do something low-key for my husband and father of my kids. But it’s also a day I recognize I have two father figures in my life. My dad and my stepdad. I am incredibly grateful for both of them and cannot imagine my life without either one of them.
The road I have had with both of them hasn’t always been easy. But still, I am honestly so grateful for the path it has laid for me.
This one is for my stepdad this Father’s Day:
I didn’t welcome you with open arms. I was a college student going through my own ups and downs, still stinging from a broken home that had come shattering down in high school. I wanted nothing more than for my mom to be happy. Yet, when she met you, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of jealousy. To me, it felt too fast, and it overwhelmed me.
You did welcome me with open arms. I saw the love that you and my mom shared for each other and it slowly started to chip away my negative feelings. Not without tough moments caused mainly by the hurt I was carrying from a situation you had nothing to do with. But when I saw my mom with you and how happy you made her, it outweighed everything.
It’s been 20 years since you married my mom. We have all come a long way since then. For me, it was healing and growing up. For you, it has been something that you have done day in and day out. You have loved my mom. You have loved my brother and I. Even with drama-filled moments, and times of being tested by me, you have stuck with us and by us.
You have gone above and beyond what many parents would do for their own kids let alone their step kids. I think that’s because you see me as a daughter versus just the daughter of your wife. It is because of your hard work and love that my mom gets to be so involved almost daily in the lives of her four grandkids. It is because of you that we are a family with such a blessed life.
Over 20 years ago when it felt like you had been rushed into my life, I now realize that couldn’t be less true. My mom had been waiting her whole life for you.
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7
It was not an easy road to get here. But it sure is a great place to be right now. My dad has a special relationship and role in my life and my kid’s life; and you have a special role too. Thank you for all you do for my mom and our family. Thank you for loving my kids, your grandkids, and for proving that stepfamilies are real families – even if they form later in life. Thank you for never trying to be my dad but, instead, being exactly what I need in a stepdad.
Happy Father’s Day.
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Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
