Step 1: Cry
I wait till I’m able to find a secluded place, talk to God in my heart about how sad and alone I feel. Cry. Sometimes bawl but usually just that silent tear rolling down my cheek as I just sit and wait in God’s presence. I tell God I need Him to hug me, hold me and love me out of this sad space. First in my heart and spirit, then in my physical circumstances.
There is no point hiding from God or putting on a brave face. He sees into my inmost being. He knows the depth of the sadness I feel even before I tell Him.
I love that about God. That He knows me better than I know myself. That means He can help me better than I can help myself.
Sometimes God’s answer comes immediately as I sit there feeling sad but at the same time knowing that God will always love me and never fail me.
Other times the answer comes days after, but I leave that space with God’s strength to carry on because my own strength is usually finished. I prefer God’s strength anyway, because it has carried me through situations that would ordinarily sink me.
The sadness may linger, but it gradually gets overshadowed by my closing to shift my focus to God and I watch my trust and faith in Him grow the more I chose Him.
In this particular circumstance I asked God to surprise me.
I don’t cry as often as I should. Crying for me means unpacking all the hurt, disappointment and pain that I’ve ignored for months and even years. Churning it over and having an open conversation with God about it. It is not fun, but it is necessary for healing to happen. I make a mental note to do this exercise weekly or at least monthly not yearly because that stuff does pile up.
Taking it bite size at a time would make life way simpler for me I realize.
Jesus wept. John 11:35
I feel Jesus weep with me, He feels my pain, maybe even more than I feel it. Then I ask Him what He is going to do about it. And I asked Him what I should do as well.
He reminds me of the song that says: “even when I don’t see it You’re working, You never stop working”. I cry some more, but at least now I’m reminded that God never stops working on His plans to bless me and give me a future that I hope for.
For I alone know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Step 2: Have faith in God
“Have faith in God,” Jesus said to them. Mark 11:22
The next thing the Holy Spirit gently reminds me is that this is what faith is all about. Trusting and believing in God’s divine plan, especially when the circumstances all around me are screaming despair, desperation and fear. God’s plan is to bless me and not harm me. And God is not man to lie or turn back from His word.
God is not a man, so He does not lie. He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through? Numbers 23:19
He makes all things and situations to work out for my good because I love Him and have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) Even the sad, hard and uncomfortable circumstances. Even the ones that seem like they would never turn out right, because with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26) It sounds lovely right? It sounds very Christian of me to say, right? But do I believe it. Will I trust God and take Him at His word? That, dear reader, it the stuff that faith is all about.
Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses]. Hebrews 11:1
Prayer:
Dear heavenly Father, I thank You that Your plans for me are always good. To give me a future that I hope for, to bless me and not to harm me. Jesus, I’m thankful that You are a High Priest who is able to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin. Please flood my life with Your love, joy and peace that the world cannot give and that the world can not take away. May I experience the goodness, blessing and favor of the Lord in the land of the living. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:13-14
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