This week I’ve been learning that regulating my emotions is active not passive. I have to act on it, it will not just happen by itself. After I got done asking myself why I have to do hard things, it was time to fearlessly (or intrepidly as our 9-year-old whose English Grammar is better than mine would say) set about deliberately reprogramming my mindset to Regulate, Not React.
Firstly, I you have to know and understand that regulating emotions is a skill, not a gift. Skills are learned and perfected. This takes work, time and thought. Gifts are given, without you having to do anything. Coming to terms with this fact really helped me take control of my moods, as opposed to letting my moods take control of me. It feels good being in control of the reigns and not allowing the turbulent seas of emotion sway me to and fro. How eye opening and freeing it is to realizes that I do not have to stay feeling sad or discouraged. I can and will control that. As a child of God, I do have that authority! Like Jesus, by faith, I can speak to the storm and say with boldness: peace! Be still. And the waves will obey me.
David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all of them were embittered, each man for his sons and daughters. But David felt strengthened and encouraged in the LORD his God. 1 Samuel 30:6
David is a great example to show us that this is practical advice. It can be done. We can look to the Lord and to the Bible to find encouragement with no one else around giving us a pep talk. The Bible says David encouraged himself in the Lord. It is a tough skill to hone, at least for me because I find it easier to run to people for encouragement. But what if they are not available at the time I need them? What if they are also in need of encouragement and so are not able to help? Again I’m reminded of the privileges I enjoy as a child of God, I have God with me and He says He is an ever-present help in time of trouble. How wise of David who encouraged himself in the reliable, wise and powerful Lord, not man or circumstances that are unreliable and constantly changing.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
The joy of the Lord is my strength. When I believe that by faith and take hold of this truth, I realize that when my joy runs out, or in situations I find myself joyless, I can take God’s joy, which never runs out, as my own. When faced with situations that steal my peace, I can ask God to give me His peace that surpasses human understanding. Because of God, I’m able to have divine peace in situations that I ordinarily would not have peace in.
Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.] John 14:27
Being purposeful and intentional about incorporating activities like journaling and reflection help you to take honest stock of your emotions and provide an avenue to work through them. Expressing what you feel on paper, being able to articulate our emotions will not only provide release but allow you time to process. Again, I’m directed to David. As you read through the Psalms, it is like David is taking us along on an emotional rollercoaster. Joy, anger, fear, courage, faith, he went through it all. You will notice that Psalms that start out in fear and discouragement usually end up with proclamations of trust in God and faith in His ability to help and save. This teaches us that putting our fears down in a journal, should end with us allowing for God to speak specific encouragement into our hearts as well and we can end our journal entry with this: encouraging ourselves in the Lord just like David did. Something like; even though today was hard and trying, I trust that God is able to make a way where there seems to be no way (Isaiah 43:19). And though weeping may endure for a night, joy will surely come in the morning (Psalm 30:5).
Journaling is also a great tool to use to document your spiritual journey. As you read God’s word and meditate or think on it, write down what speaks to you most from the Scriptures.
Also, writing down your dreams and vision is a helpful tool in regulating your mood or emotion. Things may not be going how you want them to for now, but what do you desire your future to look like? Write it down and use it as a prayer tool.
And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. Habakkuk 2:2
Have you read Psalm 68:6? It says God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
We are created for community. Romans 15:1 encourages us thus: So those of us who have a strong [faith] must be patient with the weaknesses of those whose [faith] is not so strong. We must not think only of ourselves.
Speaking to someone that is able to give Biblically sound advice goes a long way. Sometimes, it takes someone who sees our blind spots pointing them out to us for us to realize the folly of our ways, thoughts and actions. The Bible is full of scriptures that model the benefits of requesting for help and being willing to receive help. Both from God and from the community He has surrounded us with.
If any of you lacks wisdom [to guide him through a decision or circumstance], he is to ask of [our benevolent] God, Who gives to everyone generously and without rebuke or blame, and it will be given to him. James 1:5
“…so that they may instruct the young women in sensibility: to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, kind, as well as a good homemaker, who puts her own husband first. Then no one can say insulting things about God’s message.” Titus 2:4-5
As you reflect these steps that you can take to control your moods and emotions instead of letting them control or consume you, I pray that you find them both practical and helpful as you put them into practice. I pray that you will indeed find grace to be a joyful mother over your children and a wife of noble character.
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Read more of Rachel’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
