I do a lot of self-talk during challenging moments. This ranges from trying to run a little longer or faster and telling myself that I can do it and reminding myself what my goals are to moments I am breaking down in sadness and telling myself that I am strong and I can get through this. It doesn’t always work but more times than not, it does help even if only a little bit.
For moments like at the gym where I tell myself (not out loud) that I can lift heavier or run faster, a quick moment of self-talk really does help to get me through. I think partially because it gets my mind off the task at hand but also because it reminds me that I want to get through it and that I came to the gym for a reason.
For the moments I am breaking down in tears from sadness or stress or something else causing me heartache, self-talk can help recenter me. This kind of self-talk often weaves into prayer. I will be talking to myself but then Jesus will enter the conversation and be there with me as well. It doesn’t take away all the pain or offer a big solution, but it can help me to catch my breath and find some sort of focus other than complete melt down.
I have done this for as long as I can remember. It is typically not out loud talk but rather internally. Sometimes it is as simple as telling myself to “stop and breathe”. This can help bring me back down in the moments I may be overreacting and making something a bigger problem than it might be.
I sometimes struggle with comparisons. The other day I was comparing my life to that of someone else’s, always a recipe for disaster. In that moment I knew how pointless and honestly just ridiculous I was being but it took some self-talk and prayer to snap me out of the moment. I think I literally said to myself, “what are you doing?”.
In the moments that are in fact big and where I am not overreacting, like the loss of a loved one, this self-talk is helpful because it does weave quickly into prayer which is exactly what I need during times like that. Those moments where really the only thing I do have is prayer.
I can’t remember where I heard it but about a year ago, I heard some advice when it comes to handling challenges and it has completely stuck with me. Might have been a podcast or a co-worker who told me, unfortunately that part of where it came from did not stick with me.
If something feels too hard, it only means the first step isn’t small enough.
While I still use self-talk and prayer constantly, this advice is something I also use often. There are so many examples and different ways to use it; from small challenges to big complex ones.
At work, I often get an initial sense of being overwhelmed with a new project. I always sit back and initiate a little self-talk. I then start to lay out a plan of how to succeed. The first take at the plan is rarely the one that works. There are a multiple drafts and me getting weigh in from my team before plans are implemented.
I have started on what is a seemingly good plan only to quickly realize it’s not going to make the mark. This can be really frustrating and demotivating. It can make me feel like the project is too hard and I don’t know how to do it. But if I remind myself that it only means the first step isn’t small enough, it can help me to get my focus back and not let myself become too frustrated. Sometimes making the first step smaller and then even smaller and then maybe even smaller is necessary. Particularly for the projects or other challenges that come with work or life, finding a plan that can be accomplished with one small bite at a time can be very rewarding because it can lead to accomplishment. Sometimes setting a really small step initially is what I need to find confidence that I can get something done.
If something feels too hard, it only means the first step isn’t small enough; can be useful in so many situations. Times we are overwhelmed in life and truly don’t have the energy to even lift our heads off the pillow. It can help get us from one point to another even if we need 50 tiny steps in between or to at least just help make some progress.
It reminds me of the movie What About Bob and the baby steps approach the main character took in life to help him conquer fears.
If you are in a season of extreme challenge or maybe just living life as a busy mom trying to do it all; bringing in some self talk and prayer and smaller steps can be a huge relief during those moments you feel defeat coming on.
Don’t be afraid to try it out to uncover what benefits it might bring. Don’t be afraid to start small and then even smaller if you need. You’ve got this.
As you go, step by step, I will open up the way before you. (Proverbs 4:12)
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