I did Christmas a little differently this year and I learned a lot. I hope I can carry these lessons into the future and put them into use.
Usually, Christmas causes me so much stress. People with a brain like mine tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves during holiday seasons. I worry about buying the perfect gift for each person on my list. I try to bake everyone’s favorite yuletide treats, I decorate the whole house, make sure everyone receives equal gifts, and worry about everyone feeling well-loved.
Usually by the time Christmas arrives I am ready to get in bed and stay there.
I know not everyone approaches Christmas this way. I went shopping with my daughter and saw a lady with her cart piled high. She had done all her shopping in one day! I watched her name off the gift recipients on her list and then throw something in her cart. Oh, how I wished I could be more like her. Instead of worrying about each gift, she simply bought something and considered herself done. It felt so foreign to me.
Another friend announced that she was simply taking her adult kids out for a nice dinner and that was their gift. No shopping, no stress.
I could never achieve the no-stress level of these ladies, but I did make some changes this year. I’d love to take credit for the stress I let go of, but it was more circumstantial than anything I made a decision to do.
We had a lot of family trauma this year, an accident, a cancer diagnosis, illnesses, and so many other things wore me down. I just couldn’t give the holidays the attention I usually do.
So, here’s what happened:
My husband got our tree set up and I put lights on the bottom boughs and then left the rest of the lights in a tangled ball on the ground, … for a week! I was too tired to finish. And guess what. It didn’t matter. In fact, it was the source of much laughter, which helped my tired heart.
Ann Kirsten
When I finally did get the lights on (in tiny increments) I opened my huge ornament tote and sighed. I have a big collection of lovely ornaments that I gathered over the years. Just looking at them all made me want to cry. I started putting them on the tree and a voice whispered in my ear, “There is no rule that you have to use them all.” My heart lifted and I packed the tote away with half of the ornaments still in boxes. No one even noticed and I loved my funny little tree.
Ann Kirsten
Next, I bought almost all my gifts online. I added a few stocking stuffers from local shops, but pretty much everything else came from online stores that delivered. No more heading into crowded malls with full parking lots and awful traffic. I simply sat at home and clicked buttons. Sure, I did a bit of agonizing over suitable gifts because that is me, but I did it from the comfort of my own home with no added stress.
When I got around to all the Christmas totes in the garage, I ended up putting half of them back unopened. Do I really need to decorate every room in the house? Christmas linens, bedding and bathroom décor stayed boxed away. No one cared or even noticed.
All the peace I gained from those changes was still not enough for me to get the energy to cook dinner every night. So, I went to an international market and bought frozen meals. They were so easy to heat up, were yummy, and we got to taste cuisine from around the world. There were minimal dirty dishes and no leftovers. It was perfect. Nobody cared that I hadn’t slaved in the kitchen for hours.
I usually enjoy writing my Christmas cards. Not this year. Instead of sending out handwritten cards to everyone on my list (with a letter, a personal note, and holiday stickers) I sent out cards only to answer the people who sent me one. There are so many people on my list who never send out cards themselves. Why do I stress about getting one out to them? By doing it this way, my cards were easy, done in spurts, and no one could fault me if they didn’t receive one.
I used to open all the December Emails I received from stores. They usually had great sales and beautiful pictures of drool-worthy merchandise. I didn’t this year. I recklessly trashed them all. This not only saved me money, but time and the worry whether I needed to buy more gifts for the people I love.
I also did not buy or wear a Christmas outfit. I wore PJ pants and an old Christmas tee shirt and I told all my guests to do the same thing. Everyone was thrilled to follow that dress code. We were all cozy and comfortable.
There was no roast turkey dinner on Christmas Day. Instead, we all bought charcuterie items and piled them on the board my husband made. It was great fun. We sat around the table and tried interesting cheeses and meats. There were contests on who could make the weirdest food pairings. No one cared that we didn’t have a fancy meal.
Ann Kirsten
Christmas is over now and I want to keep hold of the things I learned. It’s rather silly to celebrate the birth of a baby who was born in a barn and lay in a manger, with a holiday frenzy to create a perfect day.
These scripture verses will hopefully cement these new lessons into my heart.
“Godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.” 1 Timothy 6:6-7
And:
“Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.” Ecclesiastes 4:6
“I am afraid that just as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 11:3
I think I’m going to write myself notes and pack them into my Christmas boxes. They’ll include these verses and the reminder that I can slow down and simplify, and Christmas will be just as lovely (or lovelier)!
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Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
