Who Is Testing Me?

Our family has had quite a year. Not only was my husband in a horrible accident, but each one of our adult kids and their families have gone through major life changes and some very hard issues. So, when I ended up in the hospital with a painful stomach infection this week, I had had about all I could take.

As I spoke with my son on the phone and he was telling me the list of hardships that he was dealing with, I started to say, “God is really testing us.” But before I could finish the sentence, I heard God say, “Is it me who is testing you?”

I marveled to my son, “Wait, maybe it’s not God who is testing us!”

I’ve been thinking on that ever since.

In the past, I’ve been quick to say that God is testing me. Almost everyone I know makes that statement. God is blamed for so much, isn’t He? If we don’t get what we want, it’s His fault. If we’re sick, He didn’t heal us. If we lose dear ones, or we fail at something, or life just doesn’t go our way, we tend to be quick to blame God.

When I stop to think, it’s just plain ridiculous. Plus, it goes directly against what I believe about my God. So, why do I do it?

I think it scares us to know that Satan even exists. To know that evil is near is a rather daunting thought. Who wants to acknowledge such a powerful enemy? But here’s what I tend to forget,

SATAN ONLY HAS AS MUCH POWER AS I GIVE HIM!

I need to embroider that on a pillow and read it every day!

I remember being a young adult and being overcome with anxiety. I called out to God, “God, I can’t handle this anymore, please put a fence around me to protect me, I need some peace!”

His answer to me was swift, “Why? YOU’D still be in there.”

It was the first time I realized that I was giving power to the dark forces. I was the issue. The darkness only had power because I was feeding it. It was a lifechanging moment and I’ve never forgotten it.

But back to who is testing us.

As we see the horrible things happening in this world, we see the danger of letting Satan have free reign. Wrong becomes right, good becomes bad. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I have no doubt but that we are in the end times. How long the end times will last, I have no idea. But Satan is feeling his time running out. As much as Hollywood would have you believe that devil babies are born every day, Satan cannot reproduce. His only method of gaining followers is recruitment. He rejoices every time someone turns their soul over to him and believes a lie. But the rejoicing that comes when he can turn a believer away from God is monumental. There aren’t enough fireworks in the world to represent that celebration.

So, I have to ask myself, “Just who is testing me?”

Do I have a God who thinks, “Hey, you know what would be fun? Let’s attack Ann’s family with every possible problem we can think of.”

Now, you may be thinking of Job right now. But remember who was testing Job. God already knew Job was faithful. It was Satan who wanted to see if he could take him away from God.

“Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”

The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” Job 1:9-12 (Emphasis mine)

Even though God allowed Job to be tested, it wasn’t He who tested him, it was Satan.

I’m thinking of life in a new way these days. I’m acknowledging who is really testing me and what his aim is.

This new way of thinking has changed a lot of things. When awful things come my way, instead of being a victim and cowering in a corner waiting to be saved, I’m going to turn into a warrior. I will put on the armor of the Lord and stand ready to do battle with whatever evil is thrown in my path.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” Ephesians 6:11-16

It infuriates me that Satan would even think for a second that I would turn my back on my Father. I have identified my enemy, and I am ready to fight.

And it has come at just the right time.