This year, I’ve committed to personally raising $14,440 to protect 300 kids from trafficking at the World Concern SOS 5K on May 11, 2019. As a mom it feels extra hard. I’m weary. This is the third year we’ve done a large fundraiser and people don’t seem as excited as they were the first round. My life looks different than it did a year ago. Our family went through a major crisis and we are just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I went from being a full-time SAHM to working outside the house while juggling four kids who get busier by the moment. I’m weary, and distracted and my to-do list is long and I feel like I just keep letting people down. I go to sleep each night wondering if I’m really doing what God wants or if I’m just heaping more and more on my plate and failing at it all. Why did I even commit to this fundraising?
Last night, I was irritated with my “big” kids who have been not sleeping through the night thanks to a scary show TWO months ago! TWO months of waking us up and refusing to go back to bed. I thought the baby days were long gone. They want me to lay with them and pray again and again and again. They want to snuggle in the middle of the night and be reassured constantly.
I’m tired.
I’m just so tired.
I have so much to do. I need them to go to sleep. I need to pack lunches and do dishes and finish those emails. On top of that fundraising is really hard and I am discouraged.
Then it hit me.
This is why I am fundraising for these kids. While my kids are safe in their beds, with a lock on our front door and food in their bellies and predators kept far away from them, where their bad dreams are just that, dreams, it is not the case for the kids we are fighting hard to protect. I can’t get the thought out of my mind that precious kids, just like mine, are not being tucked in tonight, but are being sent out to work. Kids just like mine are sold, trafficked, and abused, without parents to protect them and resources to provide for them, and a place that is safe for them. God has put me in a place of privilege and opportunity to protect my precious kids each night when I tuck them in. It is an absolute gift that I cannot take for granted.
Even though my heart and mind feel weary, God refuels me with this perspective.
We prayed for these precious kids. And we prayed for their nightmares. We prayed for protection and provision and healing. My heart broke for them, and for our world. The annoyance of another difficult tuck-in, and the anticipation of not sleeping much again, all seemed like a privilege instead of an inconvenience. I couldn’t get over that the nightmares my kids couldn’t handle in their dreams, were happening to other kids at this very moment in real life. The scary monsters weren’t just a dream. I pray that God would break my heart again and again and remind me of the gift my children are, even in the difficult moments. I must pray that he would to continue to allow us to help in the hard work of protecting those who are unable to protect themselves because it so important. And so I continue on in fundraising, because how amazing it is that I get to.
May 11th you can make a tangible difference to Seek Out and Stop Trafficking. World Concern is called to reach the unreachable and show up in the places where the road seems to end. YOU can be part of this life changing work. If you are in the Shoreline area, REGISTER today to join us at the S.O.S 5K. If you aren’t local, join us as a partner and donate today. Together, we can END trafficking.
Emilie is a busy mom passionate about fighting for the innocent, being vulnerable even when it’s hard and going on adventures with her family. She isn’t sure how she ended up in the suburbs of Seattle, raising four kids and driving a minivan but she wouldn’t have it any other way. You can find her airing all her dirty laundry to the masses on Instagram @emiliemcfarlane.
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