Let’s just start here. Racism is unacceptable. Unacceptable.
I’m a white mom, and I know that makes my experience different. I acknowledge who we are. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a visceral reaction to injustice and I want to share with you how we are standing up in our family.
My kids are little and when they play with friends on the playground they do not think about skin color. Then just play and have fun and it’s beautiful. And, truth be told, I hadn’t seen evidence of much racism in my circles until recently.
Somewhere along the line kids learn. Parents, we are teaching them. God didn’t design us to be this way.
In the last month, I’ve heard stories in every aspect of my circles. They are stories of name-calling, inappropriate graffiti, of telling people they “aren’t welcome” because of the color they are. I was, honestly, completely shocked. This is unacceptable.
Friends of color, I want you to know, first and foremost that we are standing with you. We are right beside you. We care deeply about this.
Second, when moments happen with my children, we are not beating around the bush. I’m not naïve. Things will happen. Kids will learn things they don’t understand. They are parrots and they will repeat them, sometimes unknowingly. Every moment is a teaching moment. We vow to have these hard conversations with our children over and over again as many times as we need to. Why? Because this needs to end.
Third, friends of color, we love you. We love your history and diversity. We love your beauty and your culture and your heritage. We are so thankful God did not make us all the same. You are not alone. You do not need to be silent. You do not need to be afraid.
Fourth, Let’s agree to see and believe the best about each other and hold each other accountable. If you see my family doing something offensive, call us on it, in love. If we see something that offends us we will do the same. Let’s learn to communicate with one another. We might mess up sometimes and we apologize and ask for grace. We’re trying, we’re learning, we’re growing. Can we agree to help each other?
Finally, to the churches, the schools, the communities…truth must prevail. We need to raise our children in truth. We cannot beat around the bush when things happen right in front of our eyes. We must have hard conversations with our children. They must see the fire in our eyes that this is an issue we care about deeply.
White mom who hasn’t seen, experienced or doesn’t even understand racism, I think it’s time. You and I have to make our voices heard in our homes and in our circles. We need to start with our children and in our homes. We need to ask our friends how they are feeling, if we can help. We need our eyes to be opened. If this is you, will you join me in praying that God would reveal to us how we can circle around our brothers and sisters of color?
Heavenly Father, open our eyes wide. Help us to see people as you see people. Search our hearts and transform our minds. Psalm 129:1-4 – O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from affair. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.
RELATED:
https://www.allmomdoes.com/2020/05/19/the-race-discussion-and-the-ominous-absence-of-calvary/
https://www.allmomdoes.com/2020/05/13/raising-white-sons-raising-black-sons-two-moms-answer-your-questions/
Dear Georgina. Thank you so much for your heartful letter. I happened upon this and had to respond. Please don’t make this only a mom thing. Men, especially white men like me have to make a stand. I am outraged and heartbroken about the violence young men of color must face as part of their lives, without exception. Fathers absolutely have such a significant role to play in acknowledging and healing the subliminal as well as the explicit racial violence in our culture. It is our heritage and it belongs to us to heal it. Now is the time. It is arising to force us to face it. No more pretend games. I am furious when I hear conservative white men defensively refusing to acknowledge the racism in our country. I then ask myself… What am I reacting to in me? I can only imagine that it is the segregated culture that I grew up in, and unwittingly participated in until I began to understand. I had to tell my family that they could not visit my home and use abusive language in front of our children. Fortunately they accepted my insistence on this. We raised our children as best we could to be accepting of all people as equals, to the extent that is possible as fellow humans. My wife is gone now but I think she would agree that they are good fair minded people. I take every opportunity to make sure that we are aware of our privelage and how it affects others. This is most important. So please include fathers in your prayers and pleas. I desperately care about this particular issue. I am at this time activated by Ahmad’s vicious murder, and insistent that justice be done. We have to accept the shadow within if we are to ever truly heal it. No more pretending that racism is a thing of the past. I accept my responsibility and will do whatever is within my power to address it honestly, wherever I go and whenever I see it, in myself and others. My children are grown up, but I can assure you that they will not pass on the violence and that they are very much aware of their heritage.
Thank you kindly for listening.