After we tucked the kids in tonight, I swept the kitchen floor while reminiscing with my husband about our pre-kid days. Back in the day, we used to have a weekly get together with another couple. Neither of us had any children and we’d just sit there and visit, always finishing our sentences and never getting up to see what our children needed/were doing/were getting into.
I cleaned the house before they came over and can you believe it….it actually stayed clean. I made dinner for our visits and oh yes…..everyone finished what was on their plate. I never said ‘you need 4 more bites before you’re excused’. Before they came over, we didn’t have that ‘remember your manners’ talk, at least I don’t remember telling my husband to remember to say please and thank you.
The funny thing is that I feel like my friendships are actually better since becoming a mom. My sentences might be interrupted and I might be slightly forgetful, usually late, and always a bit scatter brained, but my goodness, I appreciate my friends.
Having kids humbles me like I never expected it would. It’s the gal who keeps on inviting us back, even though my kids are way more interested in her kids’ toys, than the activity that we came there for. It’s the friend who brings out paint for my daughter to decorate her pumpkin with, although she knows it’s going to be messy. It’s the friend who makes my kids sandwiches for the road, or helps me carry my 100 things to the car….because whenever I go anywhere, leaving is like a stink’n Broadway production. And then there’s my sister, the best friend in the entire universe. She’s helped me get through everything from bugs flying up my nose, while I’m feeding my baby in the dark, to full on meltdowns, when I’m feeling like I’m way over my head in life.
Friendship with kids is humbling, messy, embarrassing, noisy and chaotic isn’t it? And yet, we so desperately need each other. Our kids need to see us connecting and having fun. They need to see us striving to be an encouraging friend. They need to us to be that real life example that shows what true acceptance and authenticity look like.
Sometimes I wonder if Moms miss out on friendships because they’re afraid of their kids embarrassing them or the house not being clean enough. I’ve been there and I’m still there, but I’m learning that it’s better to put yourself out there and remember that we’ve all got issues.
Maybe reach out to someone this week, even if it feels scary? Go buy a fall flavored coffee creamer then invite a friend over for coffee and a playdate. Think about how you wish someone would reach out to you and then reach out to someone that same way. Be brave, it’ll be worth it.
I’d love to hear your brave friendship stories! Please share them with me in the comment section below. Let’s encourage each other to invite that person over, to make that phone call or to drop that latte by a friends’ house.