In case you missed it, I’m a huffy-puffy pregnant lady.
I get winded doing basic things like vacuuming, dishes, and you know, getting up.
Today, I took on the task of washing all of our house’s bedding. I managed to get everything washed, dried, and put on the beds. But when it came to my oldest son’s blankets, I just tossed them up on to his upper bunk, figuring he could just cuddle up in them. I didn’t exactly like the idea of hauling myself up there.
But right before bedtime, as I FaceTimed with my mom and told her about our day and how accomplished I felt, that little man reminded me that I had one thing left to do: ‘Mom, you forgot that you need to tuck in my fuzzy blankets.’
Caught. Dang it.
Okay, huffing and puffing, I climbed up on top of that bunk bed to tuck those fuzzy blankets in tight around the edges of that mattress. And man, was he ecstatic.
Why, you might ask? Sure, I could have just asked him to lay them out himself, or told him to just cuddle up with them how they were. He likely would have listened to me if I had.
But here’s the thing: over the past while I’ve been looking more closely at my almost-five-year-old and all of a sudden he seems to be just that, almost five. He’s tall and thoughtful and helpful and I can barely stand it. He folds laundry with me and watches closely over his little brother. He asks me constantly how many more days until he gets to go to kindergarten, and I often answer with a lump in my throat as I realize that the amount of days just keeps getting smaller.
Yes, he could probably do it himself. But he could also stop asking me for these special things at any time.
It’s a hard line to walk, isn’t it mommas? The line between teaching responsibility and giving in a little to keep them little. I am constantly asking myself if I’m doing the right thing by helping him with his shoes on the occasion that he asks me, even when I know he knows how. By assisting with the little things that I know he’s got, but asks me sometimes anyways.
Sometimes I wonder, if I feel a little scared and sad about how quickly he’s growing up, does he ever feel a little scared and sad too?
If he does, I want him to know that I’ll be right here as he takes each step forward. I’ll be walking that line of encouraging him to try it on his own, as well as stepping in to help to remind him that I’m not going anywhere. And we will walk this road ahead together, figuring it out as we go, led by the One who put us together in the first place.
Tonight I climbed up on a bunk bed and exhausted myself tucking in some fuzzy blankets tightly around a mattress. It was totally worth it.