Last Spring, fellow blogger Emily wrote about our callings as moms. As a stay-at-home mom, that can include all the laundry, consoling, nose wiping and conflict management she does on a daily basis in her calling of raising three little boys.
It got me thinking about my calling as a working mom. One of the hardest things about it is feeling some of the same pressures of stay-at-home moms (laundry, house cleaning, packing lunches) yet knowing you only have this small window in which to do them each evening after work. If I sit down and think about it (but who has time for that?), it’s exhausting. Yet, there is something that drives me each day to do it all over again.
But I have to admit –
Sometimes I feel guilty that laundry isn’t my calling.
As a woman, shouldn’t that be what I am called to do? Shouldn’t my purpose be my household and my children? It seems so 1950’s but the thoughts surely cross my mind. I question myself more times (a day) than I would like to admit. I question if it’s ok for me to share in kid responsibilities with my husband like school drop off and pick up. Or should I be the sole do-er of those things? Should my four year old be home with me during the days instead of in full time preschool?
This is the struggle. I get it. I live it. Every day.
And then after a long weekend of the monotony of cleaning the kitchen for the 6th time in a day or my kids insisting they need yet another snack,
I have to admit –
I am reassured this is not my calling.
I love the evenings, weekends, holiday breaks and vacations I get to spend with my kids. I would love to not leave the house at 4:30 am and return over 12 hours later, after school pick-up and after-school activities. But I know the alternative would not be fulfilling for me. I get a drive out of the work I do while my kids are in school.
We may find ourselves in a season where our current calling or purpose is not one we particularly enjoy. There are working moms who have the desire to stay home or stay-at-home moms who wish they were in the working world. Yet, we do what we do for the value it will provide, even if that value seems hard to define.
It’s ok if laundry isn’t your calling.
It’s ok if it is.
It’s ok to question it.
It’s ok if it changes again or if you waver between loving and hating the season you are in.
I don’t believe there is ever a time, no matter how old or young our kids are that we feel truly settled and confident about the role we hold. That is the challenge of motherhood. There are never absolute rights or wrongs in what you choose, as long as your family is cared for – and that looks different for everyone.
To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
1 Peter 2:21