Maybe you traded vows and exchanged rings. Maybe you signed paperwork at the courthouse. Maybe you had 300 people celebrating with you, or maybe it was a small, intimate affair.
Regardless of the scale of the event, the end result was the same.
You said “I do!” and pledged your forever to another.
It was a memorable, significant day.
And then the next day came. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that.
And even though you didn’t realize it, every day you woke next to them you made a choice. A choice to either intentionally say “I still do!” or say nothing at all.
In those early days, it’s pretty easy to say “I still do!” every morning. And even on days you don’t say it, it’s implied.
But then we slip into real life and we go far too many days without saying it – either to our spouse or to ourselves. And the longer we go without committing to it, the harder it is to get back in the habit.
My husband and I, we forgot that marriage is a journey, not an event. We made the commitment and we said “I do!” and that was the end of that. And every day we woke up, went to work, and went on about our life. And we didn’t make that choice every day.
Until one day, when we woke up and realized that we had gone so long without living intentionally in our marriage that we were at a crisis point and we felt so far gone that we didn’t know how to get back on track.
But we did. And as we put the pieces back together, we were able to say “I still do.”
But then you know what? Life happened again. And we fell back into that day-to-day routine until we realized that we weren’t saying “I still do” nearly enough. And while it wasn’t a marriage-crumbling-around-us crisis point like it had been a few years before, we knew we needed to stop being careless and start being intentional. And start making the right choice. Every. Single. Day.
Whether you’ve been married one day or ten thousand days, every day you wake up you have a choice. Some days it’s a harder choice to make than others, but I would argue that on those days, your “I still do” holds more meaning than on the day you took your vows.
If you need to get back in the habit of committing to your spouse every day, or want a way to re-ignite your marriage, FamilyLife has a one-day marriage-changing event for couples coming to the Moda Center in Portland on August 23rd. It’s the “I Still Do” Conference.
Couples will enjoy worship, drama, and even comedic acts while learning strategies to strengthen their marriage, rekindle the romance, and renew their commitment to one another. A great line-up of speakers will teach about biblically based marriage principles and affirm the fundamental importance of a strong, healthy, committed marriage. Couples can expect to leave with helpful, practical tools to continue on their marital journey, say “I still do” with regularity, and grow closer to one another.
Remember that great marriages don’t just happen, they are created. Get on the road to creating yours; prioritizing your marriage is never a decision you’ll regret. Take your spouse away for the weekend. Take them to the conference, enjoy the wisdom of experts and enjoy some time with just the two of you. And at the end of it all, look them in the eyes and tell them that, even after all this real life got in the way, you still do.