My eyes were glued to an Excel spreadsheet at work when my ears couldn’t help but overhear something quite disturbing. “You look bigger than you did yesterday,” a woman said. I looked up and after feeling relieved that she wasn’t talking to me, I realized I was annoyed for the woman she was talking to – a young woman about six months pregnant.
It got me thinking of all the unwelcomed things people said to me when I was pregnant.
- Are you having twins? No, no I was not. What I loved even more was when I would say no and then they would follow it up with:
- Are you sure it’s not twins?
- Better catch up on your sleep now. I honestly think I got better quality of sleep with a new born than I did in my last trimester or pregnancy. The last thing my uncomfortable tired pregnant self needed to hear was how much worse my sleep was about to get once the baby came.
- Are you planning on a natural birth? Yes, I ended up having both my kids natural. As in, no drugs. But every labor is different. Let’s not put judgment or our own experiences onto those about to go through it.
- I’ve heard bad things about that hospital.
- You’ll never make it to your due date. Even an actual doctor can’t predict when the baby will actually come. Moms are always anxious about when the day will arrive. Don’t help set her up for hope (or disappointment) by giving your opinion.
- <Insert any labor/delivery horror story here> Why people feel the need to scare pregnant women by telling them their own horror stories is beyond me. Though, I have told pregnant co-workers about my water breaking. At work. Four weeks early. Soooo, maybe I should practice what I preach and shut it.
- Was this one planned? Just…no.
- Do you have a name picked out? They’ll start to share if they want to. Follow this one up with:
- Oh that will be interesting to see how people pronounce it.
When I was coming up with this list and reading it to my husband, he gave some interesting advice. He laughed and said “so basically just don’t talk to a pregnant woman.” Clearly not the point I am trying to make here. And if the pregnant woman is a super close family member or friend, obviously you will have those conversations about natural childbirth or hospital selections. But for the stranger you see at the nail salon, try to put yourself in their shoes. Instead of asking if it’s twins or asking if it was planned because you are watching her other four small children crawling around the floor, perhaps tell her how adorable she looks. Just a suggestion, but I think it can go a long way.
We’d love to hear some of the crazy/funny things people said to you when you were pregnant! Comment below!