Your Child’s Picky Eating Is Not Your Fault, but Here’s How To Keep It From Getting Worse

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: PICKY EATING IS NORMAL. Sure, we all know people whose kids eat everything. But in truth there are multiple factors at play that influence a child’s food preferences, including:

Genetics. Yup, you read that right. One study found that environmental factors accounted for only 22% of children’s variations in food preferences. The rest was inherited.
Child temperament. Is your child easygoing or a spitfire? This has an impact.
Sensory sensitivity. Your child could be a “supertaster,” struggle with certain textures, or have a strong gag reflex. This is particularly common with neurodiverse children.
Developmental stage. Toddlers begin to express independence and exhibit preferences for objects, people, and food. They may begin to exhibit defiant behavior. This begins around age 1-2 but continues on into early preschool. {There’s a reason the term “threenager” was invented.}

This post is sponsored by the Washington State Beef Commission.

But although there are a lot of factors outside of your control that contribute to your child’s picky eating habits doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to expand their preferences. In fact, here’s a bit of good news:

Early-onset picky eating is much easier to resolve than later-onset (school-age) pickiness.
Exposure to new foods is valuable, so the simple act of sitting around the table together and giving your child the opportunity to watch you eat a food they’ve rejected helps de-sensitize them to it.
Parental sensitivity and response to picky eating makes a HUGE difference. If you’re anxious about it, your kids will pick up on that.

So what’s a mom to do? Here’s your two-step plan:

1) Eat meals together.

This doesn’t have to be fancy or formal, but eating family meals where everyone is eating the same foods (or modified versions if you have an early eater) will have a huge impact on your child’s long-term pickiness. {Notice I said long-term. This isn’t a quick fix; we’re playing the long game here.} Family meals can begin as soon as your child starts eating solid foods; even the youngest eater can start eating appropriately modified versions of any food your family is eating – including beef-based meals. It’s pretty common for young kids to reject meats and this can be detrimental because beef provides protein, iron, zinc, and choline which are critical for a baby’s healthy body and brain development. So, introducing it early and often helps ensure that your child will accept this important food and give them the nutrients they need.

In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Women Infants and Children’s Program (WIC), and the Dietary Guidelines for Americans all recommend introducing nutrient-dense solid foods – like beef – to infants and toddlers. Plus, standard practice for “graduating” our children to solids isn’t science-based: there is no medical evidence that introducing foods in a particular order has particular advantages. Which means beef and other components of your family meals are completely appropriate to feed your baby (provided they’re prepared and introduced safely; learn more about that here), and this simple practice will offer a foundation to set your babe up for nutritional success throughout the childhood.

2) Follow Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility During Mealtimes.

The work done by the Ellyn Satter Institute has been widely recognized as an effective and psychologically healthy solution to feeding children – whether picky or not. Plus, it takes the parent-child emotional struggle out of mealtimes which has been known to have a profound effect on a child’s pickiness. The Division of Responsibility outlines that children have certain responsibilities at mealtimes, and parents have their own responsibilities at mealtimes:

The parent is responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding. As a mom you decide what food is served, offer a set meal and snack schedule, and determine where your child will be eating (ie, the table or kitchen counter).
The child decides whether to eat and how much.

Boom. That’s it. The battle is gone. The parent isn’t allowed to cave to demands for crackers and chicken nuggets, and the child is never shamed for not eating or bribed to take two more bites. If this is a new concept for your family it may take some time for your child to realize you’re serious about the structure. But if you start early following this division of responsibility, you’ll establish a routine and expectations around mealtimes that will facilitate a healthy (non-competitive) relationship with food over the long haul. You might still experience bouts of picky eating as it’s developmentally normal, but you can expect that those periods will be shorter and not as severe since they’re not so emotionally charged.

Ready to start making mealtimes a family event? Need some beef recipes that are easily modifiable so your baby can get the protein, iron, zinc, and choline their little brain needs? Bite-for-bite beef is one of the most nutrient-dense foods available, so make sure your little one is getting big nutrition into their tiny tummy! Here are some great, easily adaptable meal ideas!