Hoarding has been around forever, of course. It’s just that now we have a name for it. People used to call it being a messy housekeeper, or lazy, or even slovenly. None of those words quite described the depth of the problem though. We now know that hoarding is a very complicated psychological issue with no clear-cut, easy fix. (I wrote about hoarding a few years ago. Hoarding: At What Point Do We Become A Hoarder? | AllMomDoes)
My friend who is a counselor was taught in school that hoarders are the hardest clients to rehabilitate. If you’ve ever watched one of those Hoarding shows, you can see why. The hoarder starts out as the sweetest person who seems to want to change. But the second the crew shows up to help downsize, that sweet person turns into a controlling, very angry adversary. It shows that this goes so much deeper than a messy house.
I think a lot of us have watched hoarding shows and thought, “At least I’m not that bad,” or we’ve even decided that we’re not hoarders at all. I once spoke with an extreme hoarder and she told me, “I can throw garbage away, so I am not a hoarder”. This was said despite the fact that her house is impassable.
When is our stuff “too much”?
For my husband, cars parked outside the garage are a sign of too much hoarding. In his mind, garages are meant for cars and tools. If you can’t park inside, you have too much stuff.
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Luke 12:34
Storage units are also prevalent in modern society. I know people who pay the equivalent of another mortgage to store things that they can’t fit in their houses. Do they even know what they have in there? Do they really need it?
Now, to complicate hoarding even further, different types of hoarding have been identified. Whereas we might be fine in one area, in another area we may gather too much.
I have a teeny-tiny kitchen and I’m pretty proud that I have fit everything I need into it. I do not buy unnecessary appliances or gadgets. But these new subgroups of hoarding have shown me that I have areas I need to work on.
Here are some of the subgroups:
Sentimental and Emotional Hoarding – These types of people have attached sentimental value to everything they own. This makes it almost impossible to get rid of anything.
Bargain Hunters – They buy and keep things because they were on sale. My friend’s mom loved coupons and would drive from store to store to buy all the “deals”. When she passed, the amount of expired food items she had was mind boggling.
Collectors – Collections are fun. The hunt for items is exhilarating. Collections is a kinder word than hoarding, isn’t it? But collections can take over if we’re not careful.
Paper – I know people who have issues with paper. Receipts, bills, medical forms, what to keep and what to throw away?
Craft Supplies – Okay, this is me. I want to try every new craft I see. Even though most of my supplies are hidden away, the amount of crafty stuff I have is too much.
Clothes – Yikes, I am always amazed at the volume of clothes some people have. They may have a nice, clean home but a closet crammed full of unworn clothes.
Tech Hoarders – I admit to having a box of old phones under my bed, but I think guys have more of a tendency to keep tech items.
Freebies – Some people grab all the free promotional stuff they can find. You know, like cheap sunglasses with logos, hotel soaps, meal toys, etc.
Just-In-Case Items – Who knows? Maybe you really will take up spear fishing, even though the stuff you have is outdated. Or you might need that old non-waterproof sleeping bag that smells like mold. Trust me, you won’t.
Duplicates – I once tried to help my mom tidy her sewing room. She had seven irons. Seven! When I tried to get rid of six, she balked. They were all broken, but she just knew they would get repaired someday. Update: they did not.
Mixed – And then there’s mixed hoarding. For many people, more than one or two of these subcategories describe them. That’s when things get tough.
All is not lost though. If a hoarder really wants to change, they can. Taking the first step though is on them. They have to be ready.
“Come now, you rich, weep and howl for the miseries that are coming upon you. Your riches have rotted and your garments are moth-eaten. Your gold and silver have corroded, and their corrosion will be evidence against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have laid up treasure in the last days.” James 5:1-3
Counseling – Counseling can be a huge help. There are counselors that specialize in hoarding but even general counseling can get to the root of the deep-seated issues that have caused the problem in the first place.
Organizing help – There are tons of people who help others organize their messes. You might even find a friend who would help for free (some people love to do it).
Pretend you’re moving – This one always motivates me. Do I really want to haul all my stuff from one place to another? Items lose value in my mind when I think of having to pack and move them.
Death Clean – What do you want to leave behind when you pass? Do you want your kids to have to wade through piles of junk while they’re mourning? Here’s an article about The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. Swedish Death Cleaning | AllMomDoes It tells you that you can go slowly and don’t have to downsize all at once.
Getting started yourself – If you’re ready to make a start on your own, experts say to start with: expired meds, old chargers, duplicate kitchen items, unworn clothes, expired food, single socks, broken things, broken electronics, expired make-up, old paperwork, empty boxes, old magazines, and unused décor.
Hoarding is a sensitive subject. Those who have issues with it will defend their need for “stuff” to the very end. It makes me sad that they will never know the joy of paring down their belongings. The happiness that comes from going from chaos to peace is immeasurable.
“Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:15
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